An apology, and an explanation

It’s been two months since my last blog post. You’re probably wondering what happened to me. No, I didn’t get in a terrible accident, get abducted by aliens or anything else awful. I just took a break. I didn’t mean to take a break from blogging -- it just happened. One week I got too busy to post, then before I knew it, it had been another week, and then another and ... well, you get the idea.

I apologize for my long absence. I’ve got no excuse for not posting and saying “Hey, I’m still here, but taking a break!” But I didn’t do that, and I’m sorry.

To be honest with you, I got a little overwhelmed. I probably don’t have to tell many of you, but blogging takes a lot of time (for you parents who find the time to blog while also raising children, I give you mad props! I don’t know how you do it!).

But more than the time commitment, I realized a couple of things were going on that I didn’t like. As lots of bloggers and blog-readers can understand, when you spend a lot of time reading about other people’s creativity and seeing their beautiful photos, sometimes you start to look around at your own home and think, is it good enough? (Well, I shouldn’t speak for everyone, but this is how I started to feel!) I became discouraged, feeling like my house wasn’t up to snuff, or like my projects weren’t original enough. There were ideas I wanted to pursue because they were right for me, but then I would hold back because they’d been done before. These feelings paralyzed me, left me abandoning projects before I’d even begun, convinced they wouldn’t be worthy, or that readers would pass them by, uninspired or unimpressed.

And I had another realization: I needed to stay grounded. I wrote a post in October about the laundry room we were going to build in our basement, and I was so excited to work on the project. But, reality struck: we priced everything out and realized it would be over $1,000, and, well, we just didn’t want to spend $1,000 on a basement, not when we have living room furniture in desperate need of an upgrade. And though I knew rationally the answer was to scale down the laundry room and put the money toward the living room, my first thought was -- “What about my blog? How can I put that project out there and not follow through?”

And that kind of jolted me -- I mean, really, should I spend $1,000 unwisely just so I can have a finished project to show off on my blog? Of course not. Generating blog content shouldn’t be my primary goal when it comes to making our house the best home it can be. I started blogging because I wanted to share with others my crafts, projects, ideas and other things home-related as the hubs and I turned our first house into a home. Somehow, I had lost focus of that -- and I needed to get it back.

So, to refocus, I took a break to enjoy my house. I lounged on the couch with my husband and watched movies, I baked cookies and cupcakes, I hosted leisurely brunches and fun family dinners. I read books, carved pumpkins, went ice skating, watched football. I did a lot of crocheting, making blankets for our friends’ babies and one for myself. I cut myself some slack. I let the house get a little messy. I decorated for Christmas, doing what was beautiful to me and what made me happy instead of stressing about coming up with something “blog-worthy.” I even re-used a couple ideas from last year -- and I didn’t feel guilty for being unoriginal! Finally, creating, decorating, crafting -- it was fulfilling again instead of draining, a source of joy instead of a source of stress.

I started to appreciate and love my house just as it is, instead of looking around and seeing what needed to be changed. I embraced my home for what it is -- imperfect, like every other house, but warm, bright, comfortable. A place big enough to host family and friends, to hold our childhood toys and our grown-up necessities. A place not like any other place in the world, because it’s ours.

You can always look around your home and see something you want to change, something that needs to be updated or fixed, a project you’ve been meaning to do but haven’t gotten around to yet. But if you want to enjoy your home until you get it “finished,” you’ll never fully enjoy it -- because it’s never really done. When I read this in a recent Apartment Therapy post, it was exactly what I needed to hear:

“Sometimes when I start feeling discouraged about my home, I remember that my family, my kids, and even my guests won't remember how stylish or trendy my space was years down the road. What they will remember is the feeling of being cared for, sheltered, and maybe even inspired by the little place we call home.”

Do my friends and family look at empty wall space and fret over why I haven’t filled it yet? No. Do they look at our guest room decorated with mismatched furniture and bedding and wonder why we haven’t upgraded? I certainly hope not. Do they notice that my “fall decor” is still out when it’s December? I’m pretty sure they don’t! So, why should I spend time worrying about that too, when I could be relaxing and having fun with them?

So, I’m back, feeling happy and with some much-needed perspective. No, I’m not a professional designer, and no, I don’t have tons of money or time to devote to redoing my home. Rather than make this blog a reflection of what I think I should do or what my house should be, it will be a reflection of my real experiences as a (relatively) new homeowner.

I move forward in 2012 with this idea in mind. In many ways, this blog will be the same -- I’ll show you my DIY projects, my room upgrades, my sources of inspiration and a little about what I love about my home state. I’ll try to be more honest with you all when I get busy, discouraged or bogged down -- because, as much as I wish it could be my job, this blog is a hobby, and I can’t let it get in the way of my family, my health or other obligations. Sometimes I’ll write three posts a week, sometimes one, and I hope you will all be flexible with me.

I will tackle projects that speak to me, energize me and otherwise make sense for my home and my life -- whether or not they’ve been “done” around the blogosphere. And, you’ll probably find my posts to be a little more reflective of what my “real life” is like -- in other words, you might see dirty dishes in the background of photos, or photos taken with less-than-optimal light. Because all I can do -- and all I expect of anyone else! -- is my best. And I’d rather share as many projects as I can with you than stress about the best photo staging or making sure you can’t see any dust. And I won’t feel bad if things aren’t perfect, because who is, right?

I really, REALLY want to thank you, my readers and followers, for your patience and your understanding. I totally missed blogging and connecting with all of you. I hope you’ll continue to read as I dive into 2012 with new ambition. :)

Now, I know this post really shouldn’t be any longer, but I don’t want you to think I haven’t done anything crafty over the past couple of months. So, I’ll just share a couple photos with you:

I made a couple Christmas pillows, one from a Target placemat that I simply cut open and stuffed...

and another from a festive dish towel I bought at a local home decor store (that I even finished AFTER Christmas! Because why stress about finishing a pillow when you could be baking Christmas cookies and drinking egg nog?).

I added some scrapbook letters that spell JOY, as well as winter- and Christmas-themed images cut from magazines, to our gallery wall...

And I made myself a Christmas printable!

And I crocheted myself a hat, which is coming much in handy as the temps here in Maine dip below 0...

I’ve got other things to share, but this post is long enough, so I’ll save it for another day!

Again, thank you for reading, and for all the nice urgings I received to come back to blogging -- I had no idea I would be so missed! It really means a lot to me. I’m glad to be back, and can’t wait to see what everyone else is up to as well!

Oh, and in case you don't believe me about the below-zero temps, here's what my thermometer says it was this morning. The bottom number is the outside temp. Yep, that says -4.5 degrees. Brrr!

The not-fun side of being a grown-up

I generally enjoy being a grown-up -- staying up late, eating chocolate whenever I want, watching R-rated movies (yes, because I do these things ALL THE TIME. Ha.).

Oh, and as a grown-up you can make money. Which seems like a plus, and mostly it is. But what’s NOT fun is having to budget your money. When I worked as a grocery store cashier in high school, I'd cash my paycheck and then blow it all at the outlet stores the same day. Ah, I miss those days...

Anyhoo, back to budgeting. I’d say the hubs and I are fairly responsible when it comes to money. We’ve definitely gotten a lot better at it over the past couple of years as we’ve had to make some major purchases (the wedding/honeymoon, and then the house). There’s nothing like saving for a down payment to make you realize how much money you spend on pizza and beer (or shoes and wine, if you’re like me). It was kind of depressing to make our house budget and realize that, though I’d been working as a full-time grown-up for four years, I didn’t have much to show for it except a full closet. Yikes.

We did a lot of scrimping and saving before we bought our house (living with my parents helped us out a lot in that endeavor), and in the past four months have spent a good chunk of change on house-related items -- a washer and dryer, a snowblower, paint, curtains, etc. We stuck to our budget pretty well, but realized that little things -- like picture frames, tools and hardware, etc. -- can really add up. And with a few a bunch of major purchases still on our wish list, we decided to sit down and do some long-term money planning. It made for a wild Sunday afternoon, let me tell you!

Fueled by an entire box of a few Girl Scout cookies, we hashed out our spending for the next year. Lucky for me, my husband is a Quicken fiend and an Excel genius, so it was easy to chart how much money we’d have in the bank each month, how much we’d be spending on our regular expenses, and how much we’d have left over for savings and major purchases. 

Balancing a checkbook -- how quaint!

Since money is one of the biggest things couples fight about, we try to be as transparent as we can. We always set the budget together. While the hubs handles a lot of the actual bill-paying, I do more of the day-to-day spending, like groceries and toiletries. And to avoid nit-picking each other over every little purchase, we each have $200 a month in “fun money” in our own accounts that we can spend however we choose. We’ve been doing it like this for a few months, and so far it’s working out well for us.

We have a couple rules we stick to when it comes to budgeting. We paid off our credit cards before buying the house and are going to keep it that way, so no house purchases go on the cards. If we don’t have the cash for a new couch, we won’t buy it. We also keep at least two months of expenses in the bank, in case something unexpected happens -- one of us loses a job or gets hurt or sick. And we have some funds in our budget to handle unforeseen house expenses, like fixing a broken furnace.

And, we’re realistic in our budget with how much we actually spend. While we’d love to spend just $200 a month on groceries, we don’t, and rather than set a low budget and blow it every month, we budget for what we realistically think we’ll spend.

That doesn’t mean we don’t try to be as frugal as we can. We’re always looking for ways to spend less on the necessities by using coupons, buying stuff in bulk or on sale, and most importantly eating leftovers instead of letting them go to waste. If we spend less than we budgeted that month on groceries, then we have a little extra money we can ferret away for a rainy day. We do the same for things like eating out and entertainment, and give ourselves a generous budget for doing fun things because we know we will. Doing it this way means that we know we can afford something even when we’re living exactly as we want to, eating out included. But if we decide we want to save money for a big purchase, we can forgo eating out one month and save that money instead.

So, once we had our budget set for the next year, we made a list of all the big things we thought we needed or wanted to buy in the next year:
 

• Lawnmower 
• New paver walkway and plants/landscaping 
• Outdoor lighting
• Office makeover -- desk, bookcase, paint, curtains, lighting 
• Living room set -- couches, coffee table, end tables
• Art and headboard for the master bedroom 
• Bedding, curtains and paint for the guest bedroom 
• Two chairs and a coffee table for the “lounge” -- the room adjacent to the kitchen 
• New car 
• Motorcycle

Sadly, the next thing we need to buy is a lawnmower. I say sadly not because I hate spring, but because it’s no fun to spend money on a piece of machinery that will only make you bust your butt. Confession: I have never mowed a lawn. In my life. I’m pretty sure that streak is coming to an end...

And as I mentioned earlier this week, an office makeover is desperately needed. I also want to spruce up our guest bedroom with a fresh coat of paint and some new curtains and bedding. And with spring coming up, we also knew we wanted to spend some money on our yard. As I mentioned in my 2011 home goals, we want a new walkway, some landscaping and outdoor lighting.

Sometime in the next year, we also need some new living room furniture to replace our hand-me-down couches and coffee table. Both couches are fold-outs, which is nice for extra guests, but after a few years, these couches have started to sag like nobody’s business. They have no springs except the flimsy mesh that holds the mattress, which means that there’s nothing holding up the middle of the couch. One is now stuffed with an old egg crate, the other with some blankets and pillows. We even put a piece of wood underneath one to prop up the inner workings and keep the cushions from sinking. Yes, it’s bad. (P.S. I would never buy a fold-out couch again, at least not one that I wanted to sit on every day.) 

Check out that awesome egg crate. Yes, this is actually what our couch looks like underneath the L.L.Bean couch cover.

What’s that on the end of the list? Does that say motorcycle? Why, yes it does. My husband had a motorcycle a couple years ago, then sold it. I foolishly promised him that once we got married and bought the house, he could get another motorcycle. Well, that time is now, but we had to see if we could afford it first. Plus, I need a new car. Let’s just say my current ride doesn’t like to start when it’s too wet, or too hot, or too cold, and you roll the window down at your own risk.

Anyways, it was time to prioritize our purchases. We picked out the things we really needed (the lawnmower), the things we needed (new couches and a working office), and the things we didn’t need as much but wanted most (a presentable guest room). We did a little online research to figure out how much we’d spend on these items and plugged these purchases into our spreadsheet in the approximate months we thought we’d be buying them, with the lawnmower and the office expenses coming in first. We also have planned a little getaway for our first anniversary that we put high on the list -- you only have a first anniversary once, right?

We're going here! Do you recognize it?

I won’t bore you with all the details, but we soon realized that we couldn’t have it all (duh), and we’d have to choose between the motorcycle and a new walkway. Both we wanted to buy in the spring, which also came around the time of our anniversary trip, and it was just too much to spend in the span of a couple months. We could have sprung for the new walkway later in the summer or fall, but then we’d have to delay the couch purchase, and we really need those more (I mean, did you see that plaid wonder??). A new walkway is nice, but not necessary. 

And while a motorcycle isn’t a necessity, sometimes you just have to live a little. It has some practical benefits -- the hubs can drive it to work in nice weather instead of his SUV, saving some gas money. And I have to admit, I love being on the back of a bike. I never thought I’d be that girl, but I had a blast riding around on his old bike. Plus, I already have the super-sweet jacket and helmet I need to put to good use.

While in Aruba for our honeymoon, we did a Harley tour of the island. This is a rented helmet -- mine is way cooler. 

So we won’t have the pretty walkway this summer. That’s okay. Instead, we’ll have Saturday motorcycle rides out to the beach, winding along the beautiful Maine coastline and stopping for lobster rolls and ice cream. Sometimes, it’s about spending money on things you can do and experiences you can share than things to fill your house.

Plus, I earned some “wife points” that I can cash in later with something I really want. I’m thinking diamonds...

What about you? Done any budgeting lately? Got any tips to share on prioritizing spending or saving money? Let’s hear ‘em!

Checkbook photo from here.

Chateau Frontenac photo from here.